So...

They've determined that I may have cervical cancer. Can't do the biopsy until I have baby. Easiest scenario is that the  abnormalities will fade after baby is born. Worse case scenario is that I need a hysterectomy. Inside I'm freaking out but on the outside I'm calm about it. My whole life purpose has been to have babies. As many babies as God will grant me. So here I am facing the possibility of this being my last pregnancy. And even with all of the current complications I know that I will revel in this pregnancy. As weird as it sounds; I will enjoy every bout of morning sickness, I will remember every little pain, I will spend every sleepless night breathing in the beauty of this miracle growing within me. It may very well be my last chance to do so. I have always said that I will have as many babies as God will bless me with, and if he only blesses me with two I will embrace that wholeheartedly. Some are never blessed with any at all. Still, I can't help but feel a little scared and sad all in one...

I am weak.

That is all.