Holy Hell

"You're like this whirlwind tornadoe, except you're not a disaster. Walking contradiction maybe, but not a disaster. You're good and bad and just... everything, all at once. The moment you enter someone's life they're like 'what just happened?' but it's not like this bad revelation. You open people's eyes. Not like you're trying to or anything, you're just real and this... this prescence that inexplicably draws people in and scares them all at once. I mean seriously. The day I met you I was like 'Oh dear Lord who is this person' and not in a creepy I like her kind of way. It's just you. In every way. Even when you're being shy and doing that people watching thing you do so well. Like you're a breath of fresh air backed by a storm of every Grey area people are so afraid to explore. You are that Grey area. Everything about you from the way you look to that ever changing accent down to the very core of you. From the moment you say hello, I could already feel that power behind your words. Calm and chaos and everything all mixed together. It's like 'what is this woman's purpose on earth?!' and in the same breath or maybe even at the same time people know you're different from the moment you walk in the door. You're powerful. Very. And it's crazy and bizarre and beautiful all in one short gasp of air that you suck out of everyone the moment you walk in."

By far one of the most enchanting, awe inspiring and beautiful things I've ever heard about myself. It's hard to accept it, but I suppose it's true. At least the tornado part ;-)

My baby :)

I came home tonight to a bright eyed bushy tailed Anakin. So, in essence of enjoying being Mommy and capturing as many precious "only child" moments as possible, we stayed up late together. We made "Easter baskets" that look like bunnies and danced. Of course, he had to lay down at some point, but it was so worth those extra memories before nights are taken up with baby too. Bed time story was a learning success, he now knows how to rhyme! I can't believe how time has flown! In precisely one week my precious "little Big man" will be a whopping four years old. Can y'all believe that?! I remember those first nights in the hospital with him, zombie mode at four am when he was hungry, every first he's had so far. It truly is crazy how time flies. And now Mommy is having another baby. He is so excited to be big brother. Tonight he told me he is going to help Mommy read baby bed time stories. Being able to share with him the songs I used to sing him brought tears to my eyes as he began to learn them too. I can't express the joy in my heart tonight, yet there is also a lingering sadness to it all. Once baby is born I will no longer be able to call him my "one and only". I know without a doubt that I will have enough love in my heart for both of my children, but there's something quite spectacular about it being just me and my little Big man. A certain magic to it all that never seems to fade.  I just hope I'm enough to continue guiding him through life while doing the same for "our little rubber duckie". I laugh at that because at first he really thought Mommy was going to give birth to a duck, a rubber one at that! Will these memories of my little Big man fade as baby arrives? My biggest fear of all is that my little man won't feel so special with new baby here. I have faith that including him as much as possible will alleviate that some. I want him to feel even more special. Now, not only is he little Big man, he's big brother too!