You know those nightmares you get where you're drowning and everyone else is looking over the boat like nothing is wrong? And you're screaming at them to help you, someone please help...but they don't. Because they can't see you, and the words won't come out because you're slowly drowning while everyone you love is watching you slip away without even realizing it.
This is me. This. Is me.
Tehehe! Get it? No? Ray Stevens. He's hilarious.
Anywho. It's been a while since I've posted. Time is flying by in the blink of an eye and life has been more than a little crazy. I can't even begin to explain everything that has happened and everything that is going on now in these moments. But life is so full and even in the most hectic of moments when I am begging myself to just make it through one more step; for one more day - I know how is substantially blessed we are to have this. I mean I have a 5 year old son who is crazy smart and often times he is the sweetest boy you could ever imagine. Even in his moments of anger or sadness or grumpy sleepiness he's truly wonderful and a gift. I have a 10 month old son who is so funny and to watch him learn is a miracle in itself. To be able to be a part of that though, and to teach him and care for him through that process is undescribable. It really is; and then on top of that to have someone by my side who not only helps me but is there for me...I can't put it into words. And so we go through every day and life is crazy crazy hectic, I mean there is so much going on, but my heart is so full from everything. I don't know how to explain it. We have taken on a lot to say the least and we have a plan and for once it's not just a plan. We have goals and we both have ambition and we both have drive and we're pushing forward. Even when we have setbacks, and there been a lot of them, we're still moving forward and we're still growing individually and together and as a family. I usually I get on here to to vent so that I can relieve the stress of the day today and get it out in words. I can't find the words for everything that's happening, for everything that's going on, but I can tell you all that even with so much happening my heart is over bursting with joy and love and hope. I think hope is the biggest. Maybe joy. I'm not sure. This life may be chaotic to say the least but it is ours and it is beautiful and I've never wanted anything more. The peace that I feel in my heart, even with tons of stress and crazines, the peace I feel in my heart, the blessings that we receive every day...our lives are magical.
