Musings of impromptu adventure

Some days you have had enough and everything is just too much. So I walked. Right out that door without a word. Found myself in a park. Literally and figuratively. And I knew he was cooking. I knew the kids were going crazy. I knew the baby was about up be hungry. Yet still, I walked. I couldn't take anymore. So I sat there. I watched the sun kiss the earth. I laid back watching the clouds waltz with each other. I had a young man stop and ask me if I was alright. I looked up to see a face I used to know. Then we stopped and talked a while. I told him of my children. My home. My life. And just like old times he shared his. A wife and kids waiting at home. He talked of her laughter and how it filled his heart. Their bedtime routines most nights. The way the kids ran to say hello when he walked through the door. And in this conversation I asked him why he wasn't there. He said "you see, I work a lot and it causes some stress. So before I go home to them I come here. I shoot some ball to clear my head. It eases the tension. Then when I get home I can just be there". I replied saying it's like having two jobs, but there he corrected me once more. Saying being home was the greatest feeling but they deserved his whole attention and heart. Playing ball wasn't for his sake but theirs. He went home feeling refreshed instead of stressed. That way he could play with the kids while his wife made dinner or even make dinner himself. He could help with chores without getting overwhelmed, he could read stories and at night when the kids were in bed he could hang out with his wife without being too tired. I asked what kind of things they did and he told me of watching the sun set and talking, or sitting in silence just enjoying one another. Sometimes they would watch shows and sometimes they just teamed up to get the housework done. But whatever it was, they did it together. And when his back hurt or hers they would care for each other. He paid attention to the circles under her eyes when she was struggling or the small tilt of the corner of her mouth when she was playful and the way she took such care with everything she did. She noticed when work had overwhelmed him, or if he needed some extra time to recover. He appreciated her and she him. And often it was hard but they helped one another get through the good and the bad. I asked him why he did the things he did for her. He described to me a love like no other. His love for her. Said it made him not only want to be better, but to also strive for better. To show his kids real love. To raise them with all his heart. To cherish her forever. Actions behind words. So I sat there and I wondered. I watched the sky kiss the earth goodnight. I went home to my own and felt joy as my children ran to greet me. Yes, sometimes you just can't take anymore. Buy some days you're reminded what you're living for. I may not have those things he does, but I have three small children that are my world. I may not have someone taking care of me but I realize now I have to take care of me for their sake. So no more waiting or moaning or groaning. It's time to start living again, with or without that something more.