Well hello there!

Some of you know me from my previous blog, for those of you joining I say welcome. I guess I'm going to use this first post to tell you a little about me. Umm, I'm a single mom. Love my little boy with all my heart, he's 3. My name is Sarah, his is Anakin. Everyone else will have code names unless the person grants permission for their name to be used. Anakin's Dad (we're totally calling him Obi Wan Kanobe aka Raja; depending on the subject matter) is very much a part of his life and we still raise him together though we ourselves are separated. Past that, I am in love with the universe. I see magical mystical things everywhere. The way the sun kisses the earth goodnight or the trees dance with the wind like old lovers. The warmth of the sun on my face are some of my most cherished moments. I love nature and my beloved Bernheim Forest. This past week I almost made the biggest mistake of my life. I almost gave up my love for the universe. Nay, I almost gave up on being IN love with the universe. I live with my Mom and Grandma. Grams has been ill and we help her. Mom and I don't see each other often but we have been improving our mother-daughter relationship since moving in here. I will be 22 in July (13 days, woot woot!). My previous blog was about beginning a journey of self healing. I am still on that journey but have reached a new chapter, hence the fresh start. But we'll get into that later ;-)

For now! 22 things (or more) about Sarah, in order of happening by year:

Age 1: my brothers shoved me into walls as I was learning walk. And people wonder why I have such good balance!
Age 2: on MY BIRTHDAY I ran smack into a doorframe and busted my lip open. Hardcore. The mark is still there on the inside which is perfect when I chew my bottom lip, as I am now.
Age(you get it, right?) 3: I have no idea here. Though I have to say, if my son is anything like me I was Hell on wheels! Wouldn't have it any other way ;)
4: my legal father went to prison for sexually molesting two of my brothers. My first memory comes from this year. This is also the year I met the man I call my Daddy.
5: I taught myself how to read! I've always been book-smart but sometimes common sense eludes me.
6: I got my first bike! I was un-stoppable! Until I started moving. Then I was just terrified.
7: Meet Handy Dandy. You'll learn more about him later :) also, meet junior. He raped me almost every day this year. Between him and my brother I don't know who hurt me worse.
8: Meet Zellie. He's still part of my story and one of my heroes! (he's introduced in the previous blog)
9: so this year I decided I wasn't going to be terrified. I took off down the hill aka our driveway and...crashed. Into a ditch. Literally. Bike went one way, I went the other. Slid the rest of the way down the driveway. I apparently "meowed" instead of saying ow as my Mother picked rocks out of me.
10: I conquered that damn hill. And Daddy got real sick. He had cancer.
11: I learned so much that year! From the birds and the bees to the female menstruation cycle. My favorite shows were Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune because I watched them with my Daddy. I mastered the art of hiding emotional pain that year.
12: I met a boy. We'll call him Gill. Oh how wonderful, he was a thrill. Until Daddy left. And Bubba threw a fit at the mental hospital that day so we were ten minutes too late to say goodbye. That's the first time I ever went completely numb. These days they call it being in shock. Oh. And meet Step-Dad.
13: Whew what a year. Went to Disneyland with my best friend, first time I ever went skinny dipping. You should try it. It's like, cheating the system. You're totally nude but nobody can see you. Freedom!
14: I met a boy. His name in the previous blog is LP. He was my first true love. How romantic! (sidenote: if could do the eyebrow thing here I would. Can't even do it in real life though. Bahaha)
15: Bubba at it again ratted me out for not being a virgin anymore thinking it would get him out of trouble. Granted, I wasn't one to start with, but I had willingly made love to LP. I was banned from LP and my oldest sister (the one I'm closest to, go figure). Way to go big brother!
16: gots me a permit and a job! Bubba moved/got kicked out. Then I was the problem child...worked my butt off and my grades suffered, got my class ring and went prom dress shopping with my seester. I call her Sissy. I found out my legal father wasn't my biological father. Begin search for truth.
17: dun dun dun. Huge argument with Mom. Something I'm not proud of here, I smacked her (in my defense she back-handed me with her damn diamond rings). Got choke slammed to the bed by Step Dad. Had what they call a "mental breakdown". Pretty much I snapped. Told the cop to take me to jail (damn I'm stubborn). Juvi, halfway house, court, halfway house, more court. Ordered family therapy, no touch court-order and home I went. Immediately road trip to California because Great Grandma passed away, red eye flight back home because my other Great Grandma passed away. Blah, Blah, Blah you don't have enough credit hours to pass school (duh, I've been all over the country!). GED accomplished. Moved away from home. Oh. And I met a man.
18: two jobs at once, moved to Bardstown, got my license, new job, pass out. Bam. Bitch you pregnant. Say what?! Yes sir. Relationship? Yes. No. Yes, move to Louisville. Oh hey, Anakin is here!!! Thanks Raja ;-)
19: he was called love in my last blog. Ahh run, hide in current relationship. Raja: marry me? Yes sir. September of next year. Oh hey, February.
20: married. Separated. Oh it went down. Details in the last blog. Hello biological father, Step-Mom (I call her Momma) and whole new addition to my family that's already crazy! I welcome you with warmth!
21: started from the bottom; now we here!!! Haha! If you want the details of my 21st year you can read the last blog, it begins in October.
22: I don't know about you, but I'm feeling twenty-two-ooh-hoo-ooh. Bahaha! I'm gonna take a break here. I'll start fresh tomorrow!

Sweet dreams :-)