The brokenness of a little girl...

The cold winds are here
Going straight through my soul
Knowing this year
You'd be 56 years old
It's your voice I want to hear
Full of wisdom and love

I was your Angel. You told me so. Your laughter filled the room. Your voice fills my head. If you were happy you sang. If you were sad you prayed. Things got so tough. Still, you weren't dead. That day plays in my mind. No smile, no laugh, no joy. Now I'm left here all alone. Knowing you'd be 56 years old. You said "I'm going home my dear. There's no need to fear." What you never knew, was you were my angel too.

So... I'm sitting here with a little miracle we call babies. He's eleven days old. How crazy is that? And I'm crying my eyes out because I wish daddy was here. This little bundle of joy carries his name, but my heart carries his love. I am saddened that my boys will never know the man that raised me. Even as he knew he was dying he kept his spirits up and gave all he had to us kids. Never again will I hear his silly songs about boogers in his nose or Jeremiah the bullfrog. Never again will his words of wisdom fall on my ears. He was my rock through the storms, my protector though he was bed ridden. He loved us so unconditionally words could never truly explain. Then he was gone. Just like that, without a word. Ten years later I'm still in tears. He was the greatest man I ever knew. Me and little William Clay have a full day today with a friends goodbye party this evening. But the cake is still on the table, and I can't bring myself to cut it. 56 years old, if only you had made it this far...I will always be Daddy's little girl. Your words of wisdom are my strength, your kind heart my guide, your knowledge my drive to learn, your songs my voice to sing, and mostly your love to get me through. Happy birthday Daddy. I hope they have cake up above.