Grief

The children are napping, so I took a moment to shed a tear. I'm hiding in that so favorite hiding spot of mine. You guessed it, the bathroom. You were an incredible woman. At 23 I still hid from you to have my cigarettes. Pepaw had lung cancer and almost died that year. Seems so trivial now. I would rather have those hidden moments with you. Your smile was quick and easy. Your laughter contagious. The very essence of you brought out the woman in me. I don't know a soul on this earth that didn't strive to be better just for you. You were just that kind of woman. And now, not even half a day past your departure, I already feel the emptiness in my soul. You had strength in reserves and you were always willing to share. Wisdom for days you said gave you your silver hair. Wit and charm floating around you in the air. I've never known another that believed in miracles like you. Gah. I can't even bring myself to finish this so soon. Bottom line is this: I already miss you and I still feel like you're here. I miss you today, I'll miss you tomorrow, I'll miss you forevermore. The grief has yet to hit me full force, and even I can not grasp the magnitude of feeling so bereft. You were the Nanny of my soul and I pray forever that you knew.