Ugh...

I knew that it would happen eventually. I just didn't realize it would be so soon. It happened today though. We were driving back from my little sisters driving test and there you were. My first reaction was shock, followed by fear and then quickly overrun by anger. Boiling in me like the rage you deserve. Riding along on your bike with its sorry ass windgaurd, as if you deserve to be alive. As if your freedom doesn't put oh so many at risk. I hate everything you are. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing your face. Everyone tells me I'm so beautiful, so how did I come from something so hideous? You have no heart. You have no morals. You have nothing. You are nothing. Nothing but a monster in human form. If I believed in demons on earth you'd be first grade. Piece. Of. Shit. But then it wasn't you. Here I was having homicidal thoughts about some poor guy that just happened to be on a bike like yours. The rage receded. I took a breath. Yet still I fought the tears. How could you do this to us? Strike fear in the hearts of those you're supposed to love. Those you're supposed to nurture. All you ever did was create nightmares. Hell, the worst of what you did wasn't even to me. I don't know if I'm afraid of you or of myself when the day comes to face you. I preach forgiveness, a life of the higher ground. I am above your petty actions. Still, I don't know if I could ever forgive. I try my hardest. But every time I hear your name or it crosses my mind there's bile that rises in my throat. Burning like the anger rolls. I pray that day never comes. I want nothing to do with you. Ever. My children will never know your name. But my sisters? They'll deal with the Hell you created for them the rest of their lives. How? Why? I wish they'd let you rot.