Well then...

Let's get straight to the heart of things. I have been on an emotional roller coaster recently. Ups and downs and all arounds. I've been fighting a down phase and it definitely hit its lowest point today. Spent hours cleaning my grandma part of the house, sinus headache, back hurting, only full day I had with Anakin, just a bad mood in general. The first words I heard from my son this mornin were "I want to go to my Dad's". You have no idea how bad that tears me apart. See, Saturday was my birthday. All day I waited for Anakin to call or something. He never did. His Dad forgot it was my birthday...so I cried of course. Now some would say "why didn't you just call him". I try not to invade his time with his Dad. Yet when he's with me I try to keep his Dad updated. If he does something I'm really proud of I'll tell him. If we get a super cute picture of him I send it. If he's being a heathen I let him know. If he misses his Dad we call. Now we don't blow up his phone the whole time he's with me; just little updates here and there to keep Dad informed and incorporated into his daily life. But when he's at Dad's? It's like I don't even exist...not a single call (even on my birthday), no little updates, nothing. And it hurts. So when my birthday came and went with no call, my Mom ended up saying something to him. Of course at that time Anakin was already half asleep and wanted nothing to do with telling Mommy hello. I broke down in tears at that point, trying to explain to his Dad exactly why I was upset. Of course he didn't get it, but it felt good to finally let it out. Next was my day with Bread. I've received my new schedule (for after training) and will no longer be off on our Sundays. So I've planned to enjoy them as much as possible while we still have them. Then I slept all day. Neither of us were feeling well...then we watched Burn Notice (LOVE that show) until I left to pick up my little big man. Today he was going to come see us and ended up being busy all day. I had already had such a shitty day and it was like the icing on the cake. But; he actually made me talk it out and I felt loads better afterwards. A hot bath, some food and a little medicine later I feel a hundred times better. Me and Mom have stopped arguing, me and Bread still really like each other and Anakin is asleep before midnight. Tomorrow begins my second week of work and I'm excited to see what it brings. For now I'm going to get some sleep though. Sweet dreams (and sweeter days)!!!